There's a new addition to the Daily Horoscope and it hails from the LA Weekly. When I lived in LA, I read the LA Weekly religiously since it offered stories that weren't reported in the mainstream media.
By Rockie Gardiner, LA Weekly: PISCES (February 19–March 19)
"As you well know, exciting, exotic Uranus is in Pisces and stern, sensible Saturn is occupying your Virgo house of significant others. Who might those fogies be and why are they trying to squelch your fabulousness? The first polarity between these incongruous planetary forces in 40 years is upon us; however, few signs will be as affected as the Fish. You might want to read for Virgo, Capricorn and Aquarius for further clues as to what could be in store before this potent pair go their separate ways in 2010."
Oh crap. I found yet another gray hair. Time to get my roots done and I'm considering getting highlights. My hair is pretty dark these days and I need a little 'umph' for the winter months--don't we all? A few years ago, I 
did the caramel-colored highlights, but was told by certain family members that the caramel highlights looked to dried out and too Orange County. Now, I'm considering reddish highlights. What are your thoughts? Please feel free to leave a comment. Just in case you're wondering, my eyes are hazel and I have freckles.
What's going on? Oh yes, the horoscope. Let's see.
"la la la la la exciting, exotic Uranus la la la la stern, sensible Saturn is occupying your Virgo house of significant others."
He he..it reads Uranus..tee hee hee. I never thought of a Saturn automobile as being stern. Sounds awfully Germanic. Sensible, yes. Ugly, yes. Mundane, oh hell yes.
Huh!? Viggo is my significant other!? When did that happen? Wow! That info is going to make some folks unhappy and angry.
"Who might those fogies be and why are they trying to squelch your fabulousness?"
I never thought I'd ever see a horoscope that refers to "fogies." Or uses the word "squelch."
Nice.
"The first polarity between these incongruous planetary forces in 40 years is upon us; however, few signs will be as affected as the Fish. You might want to read for Virgo, Capricorn and Aquarius for further clues as to what could be in store before this potent pair go their separate ways in 2010."
Perhaps if this part were put to music a la 'when the moooooon is in the seventh houuuse and jupiterrrr is lined with Maaars' it would be more enlightening and I'd probably take it more to heart. But, I don't find 'incongruous planetary forces' particularly helpful, unless the planets are being renamed.
Reading for Viggo, err I mean Virgo, Capricorn and Aquarius requires too much eye power and I need that power for reading about Obamapalooza.
