Juvenile "Caged Heat" and other tales of woe

So here's the story.
Jasmine and Jacinta are sisters and one was being stalked-allegedly-by some girl who wanted to fight her, which one I do not know. So, during the film school quality re-enactment, we're shown the fight that landed them in kiddie jail. Two gals got cut including Jasmine and now the sisters are in the Lake County Juvenile Detention Center in Indiana with the possibility of being charged with attempted murder.

We see them going through intake, talking to an upset parent via speakerphone, the lice bath then the hanging out with the other juvie girls. And the bedtime rituals and yes, those big t-shirts they sleep in look mighty comfy to me.
They lament, they cry, they wring their hands and the only reading material they're seen with is the Bible. Under those conditions, it's only a matter of time before a "Caged Heat"-style fight erupts in front of the MTV and closed-captioned cameras.

This Jasmine/Jacinta scenario is just one of many featured in MTV's "Juvies"-- a new reality show on the network that can't quite figure out what it is anymore. I remember the first time MTV went on the air and it was the coolest thing ever. All music all the time, now it's, well, I don't know what it is.

But, I digress...

"Juvies" is one of my new fab fav reality shows. It's up there with "Cheaters," "The Real Housewives of Orange County," and the creme de la creme "To Catch a Predator with Chris Hansen." I haven't watched "Cops" as steadily as I used to. When I lived in LA, my sister Molly and I had a weekly date to watch "Cops" at my apartment in Studio City. Our favorite scenes were the dog stealing neighbor, the drunk who was pulled over and did a Martha Graham-esque fall down the median strip on a Texas (of course) highway. All done in front of the law who couldn't contain their giggles. Finally, the "I'm a renter"-in a thick, Southern accent hampered by lack of teeth. Ahh..those were the days.

Now, the others. "Real Housewives..," well, I'll have to go into that show in another post. There is so much there and it's a pretty new season. Same with "Cheaters."

But, there's "Catch/Predator" and I have just a few questions. Don't any of those doofusses (doofi?) ever watch TV?? Don't they realize that chatting online with pre-moisties is not only really gross but just plain dumb since the baby teeth owner, tasty yum-yum on the other end could be some fat guy named Lou from Perverted Justice? These "men" who get arrested certainly deserve it. I have no pity for them at all, and it makes for great television. But, Chris Hansen-how could he NOT crack up? I wonder if when the cameras and mics are turned off if he just rants about how flippin' stoopid these perps are. One would think that if Hansen was normal, he wouldn't take his job too seriously and would laugh his ass off at his amazing good fortune. He has milked this story to death, pardon the pun.

Rumor has it that he is actually a real journalist.