-dark lip liner over light lipstick..it's still around and that look may prompt me to go on a tri-state crime spree.
-wearing makeup while working out.
-hair extensions that are almost taller than the woman wearing them
-the leggings under short skirts come-back. i like the gap commercials that show this 'new' look but even though it is a new century and gap has a fun ad campaign, the leggings under the jean skirt is still a bad fashion statement
-the hair don't that's still around..messy in the back of the head and finely 'coiffed' in the front. it's usually frosted to hell.
-I've said it a thousand times...dreadlocks on white people, dreadlocks on white people, on white people...dreadlocks.
-jeans with the cuffs turned up to just below the knee
As the season progresses, I'm sure I'll have more. Until then, Ta ta!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Fashion Cacophony pt. 1
These days, it's quite steamy here in Chicago. As a result, more and more people are out and we're seeing all sorts of interesting fashions on the streets of this fine city. While some of the couture is acceptable, there are lots of fashion scofflaws out there who are, well, a bit touched in the head when it comes to fashion.
Here are a few of my observations..some are good, but some are just..wrong.
Be careful, this may leave a mark.
1) I've gone over this with close friends and I am still in awe of the fact that women insist on getting French pedicures. To me, it looks like they're walking on their hands. Ick. What makes their feet more hand-esque is if a woman is wearing a toe ring avec the French pedicure. Double ick.
2) French manicures/faux nails..especially the ones where the white part is almost as big as the entire nail bed. Oh, there's more. Why a straight edge? Why not a wee bit of a curve? The straight edge makes even the most slim fingers look like stumps.
Plus, everyone has them-it's not an original look. It's just plain bad.
3) While I'm on the subject of fingers, anyone care to comment on those silver mesh rings or bands? They're usually spotted on fingers mentioned in #2. The thing is, these rings/bands are usually on small hands or stubby fingers or small hands WITH stubby fingers. If the finger is small and the ring too big, it makes the hand look like a hobbit's paw. 'Nuff said.
4) More jewelry-the Tiffany silver charm bracelet that's usually worn in tandem with the silver mesh ring. Or, the trifecta-the ring, the bracelet and the matching charm-esque chunky necklace. I get it, you shop at Tiffany's from time to time. Big whup. Why oh why does everyone feel the need to accessorize exactly like everyone else? A little originality please!
5) Now, I'm guilty of this next one. I only wore this item of clothing twice and both times I knew it was wrong, but I..just...kept..on...wearing..it. I guess I was trying to see if I could get away with it and a stolen glance in a shop window on Damen proved that I couldn't. That's why my shrug-sweater-that-ties-right-under-the-breastesses-sprinkled-with-sequins is going to Good Will. No one, except maybe an anorexic A-cup, can wear these things. And, to make matters worse, I looked like a Russ Meyer reject.
It's the female equivalent of the banana hammock for men.
6) Coach. Now, I like Coach products these days. The whole product line is so much more hip and sophisticated than when I got my first Coach bag in high school back in 19-ahem. Yep, I carried it while wearing my Chinos, Polo Shirt (collar turned up, of course) and Sperry (coming about!) Topsiders. (go ahead and laugh, but I'm sure you were sporting quite the mullet back then..or now) My beef is with those who purchase Coach products and insist on leaving the little leather Coach tag on. Now, the bags I can understand to a point, but those who leave the tags on the belts, well, I just don't get it. More importantly, I'm not impressed.
7) I haven't seen any of these since we're now living on Mercury, but for some reason I was thinking about this other day. Maybe it has to do with the fact that my mom is planning on buying a winter coat soon (you know, pre-sales rock!), but no matter what the season, it's still just wrong. Back in January, I was on the Red Line and next to me was this woman wearing a beautiful, deep red cashmere coat. How did I know it was cashmere? No, not by touch. I knew it was so because the lady forgot to remove the thin tag on the left sleeve above the opening that reads "100% Cashmere". Yes folks, that tag is to be removed before you don it that first day of nippy weather. To the lady I wanted to say, sotto voce of course, "Um, hon, you're supposed to cut that little tag off before you wear it." I refrained because I didn't want Ms. Thang to open a can of whup-ass on me before I had to switch trains at Belmont.
8) Prada nylon bags. Why would anyone pay $900 or so for NYLON???
9) Lilly Pulitzer. Please..stop the madness. If you insist on wearing it, stay in Hinsdale or Naperville. Don't trek into the city because it could get ugly- that is if anything could possibly get uglier than Lilly Pulitzer clothing. Oh wait..I forgot about Chico's!
10) Again, I'm guilty of wearing these: Cropped pants. However, while they don't look that good on me (but I am tall so I don't look like I've been cut in half), they don't look half as bad as what I saw during my grad school summer session. A lot of women at City Hall wearing patterned cropped pants. Yes, you read it right. A bad combo. Just think about it for awhile and you'll see the light too.
Ladies, if you're under 5 ft. 5 or have short legs, don't wear cropped pants because they make you look shorter. They do to your height what French manicures do to your fingers (See #2). If you insist on wearing them, stay away from the chunky heeled sandals. Those shoes only add to the tree trunk affect. Clam diggers are worse unless you're actually digging for clams. They have a goofy name for a reason..what about the words 'clam diggers' screams fashion??
Same goes for Cargo shorts..especially the ones that are being worn by the glutally challenged (read: white) male. It's called a belt..wear it, but make sure you take the Coach tag off it first.
coming soon..some good fashion I've spotted as well as more glamour don'ts. Get the black bar ready!
Here are a few of my observations..some are good, but some are just..wrong.
Be careful, this may leave a mark.
1) I've gone over this with close friends and I am still in awe of the fact that women insist on getting French pedicures. To me, it looks like they're walking on their hands. Ick. What makes their feet more hand-esque is if a woman is wearing a toe ring avec the French pedicure. Double ick.
2) French manicures/faux nails..especially the ones where the white part is almost as big as the entire nail bed. Oh, there's more. Why a straight edge? Why not a wee bit of a curve? The straight edge makes even the most slim fingers look like stumps.
Plus, everyone has them-it's not an original look. It's just plain bad.
3) While I'm on the subject of fingers, anyone care to comment on those silver mesh rings or bands? They're usually spotted on fingers mentioned in #2. The thing is, these rings/bands are usually on small hands or stubby fingers or small hands WITH stubby fingers. If the finger is small and the ring too big, it makes the hand look like a hobbit's paw. 'Nuff said.
4) More jewelry-the Tiffany silver charm bracelet that's usually worn in tandem with the silver mesh ring. Or, the trifecta-the ring, the bracelet and the matching charm-esque chunky necklace. I get it, you shop at Tiffany's from time to time. Big whup. Why oh why does everyone feel the need to accessorize exactly like everyone else? A little originality please!
5) Now, I'm guilty of this next one. I only wore this item of clothing twice and both times I knew it was wrong, but I..just...kept..on...wearing..it. I guess I was trying to see if I could get away with it and a stolen glance in a shop window on Damen proved that I couldn't. That's why my shrug-sweater-that-ties-right-under-the-breastesses-sprinkled-with-sequins is going to Good Will. No one, except maybe an anorexic A-cup, can wear these things. And, to make matters worse, I looked like a Russ Meyer reject.
It's the female equivalent of the banana hammock for men.
6) Coach. Now, I like Coach products these days. The whole product line is so much more hip and sophisticated than when I got my first Coach bag in high school back in 19-ahem. Yep, I carried it while wearing my Chinos, Polo Shirt (collar turned up, of course) and Sperry (coming about!) Topsiders. (go ahead and laugh, but I'm sure you were sporting quite the mullet back then..or now) My beef is with those who purchase Coach products and insist on leaving the little leather Coach tag on. Now, the bags I can understand to a point, but those who leave the tags on the belts, well, I just don't get it. More importantly, I'm not impressed.
7) I haven't seen any of these since we're now living on Mercury, but for some reason I was thinking about this other day. Maybe it has to do with the fact that my mom is planning on buying a winter coat soon (you know, pre-sales rock!), but no matter what the season, it's still just wrong. Back in January, I was on the Red Line and next to me was this woman wearing a beautiful, deep red cashmere coat. How did I know it was cashmere? No, not by touch. I knew it was so because the lady forgot to remove the thin tag on the left sleeve above the opening that reads "100% Cashmere". Yes folks, that tag is to be removed before you don it that first day of nippy weather. To the lady I wanted to say, sotto voce of course, "Um, hon, you're supposed to cut that little tag off before you wear it." I refrained because I didn't want Ms. Thang to open a can of whup-ass on me before I had to switch trains at Belmont.
8) Prada nylon bags. Why would anyone pay $900 or so for NYLON???
9) Lilly Pulitzer. Please..stop the madness. If you insist on wearing it, stay in Hinsdale or Naperville. Don't trek into the city because it could get ugly- that is if anything could possibly get uglier than Lilly Pulitzer clothing. Oh wait..I forgot about Chico's!
10) Again, I'm guilty of wearing these: Cropped pants. However, while they don't look that good on me (but I am tall so I don't look like I've been cut in half), they don't look half as bad as what I saw during my grad school summer session. A lot of women at City Hall wearing patterned cropped pants. Yes, you read it right. A bad combo. Just think about it for awhile and you'll see the light too.
Ladies, if you're under 5 ft. 5 or have short legs, don't wear cropped pants because they make you look shorter. They do to your height what French manicures do to your fingers (See #2). If you insist on wearing them, stay away from the chunky heeled sandals. Those shoes only add to the tree trunk affect. Clam diggers are worse unless you're actually digging for clams. They have a goofy name for a reason..what about the words 'clam diggers' screams fashion??
Same goes for Cargo shorts..especially the ones that are being worn by the glutally challenged (read: white) male. It's called a belt..wear it, but make sure you take the Coach tag off it first.
coming soon..some good fashion I've spotted as well as more glamour don'ts. Get the black bar ready!
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